Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
