The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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