No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize