just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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