dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Found your dick twin last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
