I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
