I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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