life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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