3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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