my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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