Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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