I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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