i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
