i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
