Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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