I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Drake has all the answers
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
