There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
