sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
