Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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