i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize