I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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