You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
