I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
