So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
my being single is dangerous.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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