I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
