Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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