I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
