It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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