god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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