I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
