"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
