Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
