I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
