Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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