So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
