god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize