i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
