I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
