Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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