grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
