What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
