i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
