Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
