The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
