It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
