I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So squirting runs in the family.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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