Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
