can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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