Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
