i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
