Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
