I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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