maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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