did you get engaged???
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
