I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
