Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
