When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
