thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
