ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
