I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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