im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
