Can Purell be used as lube?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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